Electionitis

On Tuesday in California, we're having the second primary election so far this year. I'm not sure why we're having another election before the November election -- why couldn't they consolidate them to save money?

The star of the show this time seems to be a big, nasty ballot measure that's supposed to wipe out all forms of rent control in the state. I guess some political groups decided that it wasn't enough to have the highest cost of housing in the country, so they're trying to push through a ballot measure to enable the costs to go even higher...even faster.

We've got other ballot measures to sort through as well...there's always one for "affordable" housing and city workers' pension plans and near-identical regional politicians running against each other and keeping the Photoshop artists very busy doctoring up their images on the flyers and posters. And anyway, why am I often voting on things like workers' pensions, which should be decided on by my elected officials?

Another election, and still not the big one that we've all been waiting for since November, 2004.

Whatever happens on Tuesday, I'll be relieved when I stop getting a mailbox full of electoral propaganda every day and the annoying, pre-recorded phone blasts (with poor audio quality) in my voicemail. Here's just a sampling of what I've been tugging out of my mailbox and dropping into the recycling bin lately.

meet me @ casablanca

Last night I went with my friend Alain to a little cafe that we saw on Polk Street: Casablanca Café. You can almost miss it when you walk by: it's next to an North Beach-style coffeehouse between California and Sacramento streets.

The café is a small operation run by a friendly Moroccan man and his wife. There's only a few tables, a small bar area, and a deli counter that separates the cooking area from the eating area. It's not "upscale" looking.

Only the man was working last night--which means he waited on tables, poured drinks, and also did all the cooking. We settled into a corner bench with some pillows, drinks, and appetizers, and just waited patiently. And the wait was worth it! Alain ordered chicken tagine with prunes, and I ordered lamb tagine with lemon, artichoke, and olives...both were delicious, and cooked fresh for us while we waited.

Casablanca Cafe is no frills, but the food is good....and it made me feel like I was in the 10eme arrondissement in Paris...or perhaps in Belleville. If you like Moroccan food and you don't mind visiting a small place that doesn't have waitpeople...and you want a bit of authentic ambiance in a distinctly urban environment, then check it out: 1609 Polk Street, San Francisco.

And now ...for a little music

Enjoy this 10 minutes of psychedelic chillout from Aleph Zero Records. This is Shulman live on stage in Tel Aviv. I love watching musicians play live on stage alongside laptops. Nice little video....too bad it doesn't fade out at the end.

A Tale of Two Torches

2004:
I was walking from my flat near the Voltaire metro station down rue de la Roquette, when I came up to the busy, multi-pronged intersection at the Bastille. I noticed a huge crowd of people standing on the curb--but not crossing the street-- waving French flags. I was on my way to the really friendly post office that's right off of rue St. Antoine and was lost in my thoughts. But I stood for a moment at the intersection with the crowd, wondering what was going to happen.

Then I heard sirens...followed by a crowd of people walking down the street, accompanied by police. And in the middle of the crowd, almost unnoticeable, was the Olympic torch runner. It wasn't impressive, really. The torch runner seemed lost in the crowd, and the flame itself was more like a can of Sterno on a stick. It looks so much better on TV. But I have this story now of how I accidentally stumbled across the Olympic torch runner, amusing only because other people had planned their whole day around trying to see it.

2008:
Once again, I was somewhat oblivious while the Olympic torch passed through my city. I had a head cold and a lot of work to do...but at lunchtime, I headed out for a quick errand. I took a shortcut through the Muni metro station. Over the PA system, they were making loud announcements in Chinese, which is not typical. When I emerged from the station, I saw protesters making phone calls to each other on cell phones.

I've watched the coverage of the protests in London and Paris, too, and while I agree that China's record on human rights is abysmal, I don't think the demonstrations are going to make an impact on China's policies any more than the annual demonstrations at the World Trade Summit have stopped globalization. And the USA is unlikely to boycott the games any more than it did in the 1930s in Germany. The world we live in today is powered behind the scenes and en route to a destiny that we are not likely to influence with handwritten placards or email petitions, and this is certainly true with both the USA and China.

Why does Safeway hate their customers so much?

Last night I went to Safeway. I normally don't shop there, but sometimes it's the only option after 9:00 at night. In fact, there's little at Safeway that I want to buy: not its vast array of pesticide-sprayed produce, nor its dribbling packages of hormone-fed meat. However, I do have pets, and I needed supplies for them.

So there I was....and so were about 100 other people, all waiting helplessly on line for approximately three numbed-out cashiers. Then I remembered: this is how it ALWAYS is when I go to Safeway. It has about 30 checkstands, but Safeway deliberately keeps most of them closed and purposefully understaffs its stores. Instead, the burden is placed on the customers to waste the better part of their evenings while they wait on long lines like caged animals. Safeway is the anti-customer experience, a hellish glimpse of a day in the life of an apocalyptic future that I hope never materializes.

The experience is usually not complete unless, when you finally make it to the front of the line, your cashier is relieved from duty and replaced by another, who arrives -- slowly, begrudgingly -- with her own cash drawer and has to get set up by the manager, thus prolonging the agony even further. And Safeway trains their cashiers to make an effort to address you by name when they hand you the receipt, always mangling the pronunciation with great insincerity, and basically delivering the coup de grâce to yet another painful episode.

Last night I never made it to the cashier. I waited on a long line for 20 minutes, only to discover that at least 10 more people around the corner had formed a second branch of this line for the same cashier. This ensured at least another 20 minutes of waiting. Just then, a man walked by, muttering "Hell, I've been on line here so long that I thought I'd left the store already!"

That did it. I left my basket standing in the aisle and left the store. Sorry, Safeway...if you want my business, you have to treat me like a customer, not a prisoner.

How low can you go?

You've probably never visited the LowerMyBills.com website. But their ubiquitous ads most likely appear on some sites that you do visit.

A year ago, they were known for the happily dancing silhouettes...the frenzied dancers who were celebrating the fabulous mortgage rates they could enjoy without otherwise qualifying for any kind of credit in the real world.

Just think: a few months ago, this Barbie-waisted dancer was still celebrating the mythical falling interest rates that LowerMyBills could presumably offer. No doubt, this joy was supplied through subprime loans.

Then the news of the mortgage crisis began to surface. The dancing woman--and her identical best friend--decided to get out of real estate altogether and go back to school. Let's face it: mortgages were becoming a tough sell. But these dancing animations told you all you needed to know: even hardcore spammers were getting worried about the future.

But then the interest rates started dropping again--multiple times-- in an attempt to boost the US economy. LowerMyBills.com is back, but now it looks like they need to take their meds. Look at this recent ad for mortgage rates: the dancing women have been replaced by a hideous, screaming, bug-eyed zombie with a deadly spider crawling up her blouse. Sorry, but it's not very compelling! Is it supposed to be?

Just who is LowerMyBills.com? Their website says they're an Experian company. And Experian is one of the Big Three companies who maintain credit reports on every American. Do these ads make you feel comfy about letting them keep YOUR data?

Nigerian Car Warranty

You know The Call by now. It comes when you least expect it. You get it on your home phone, your mobile, and at your office. The area code doesn't look familiar, but you pick it up anyway. And then: "This is your last warning. Our records show that your vehicle's warranty is about to expire," says the prerecorded voice.

The first time I got it, I thought it was a wrong number. My car is very, very old. There's no warranty on the planet that could extend this far.

Then I kept getting The Call. It came from different numbers. I filed complaints with the Do Not Call List people, for what it's worth. I did a reverse lookup for the source numbers on the net and found the whocalled.us site. Obviously I was not alone. Many other people received the same annoying call from the same numbers, often thinking that their car's warranty HAD expired.

Most of today's annoying phone solicitors are prerecorded. They're much easier to hang up on, but annoying, all the same. This call, however, supposedly offered two options: the first, to talk to a live operator (press 1), and the second, to be taken off the phone list (press 2). I tried pressing 2, but it disconnected me.

When The Call arrived yet again on my internal office line yesterday, I decided to press 1 instead. Indeed, I got a "live operator." The phone rang and a guy picked up. "This is Jeff," he said. "May I have the make and year of your car?" And I replied, "Hi Jeff...may I have the name of your company?"

Jeff was obviously trained in dumping curious call recipients like me. No way was he going to tell me the name of his enterprise. He immediately put me on hold without saying a word, and after some music played, I heard a pre-recorded announcement about how to get on the Do Not Call list. Of course, I'm already on that list, but that's no deterrent.

This phone spam seems to be the telephone equivalent of the emailed Nigerian bank scam.

Does anyone know who these people are and what they're really after?