However, my first flight was late, and I had only 10 minutes on my stopover to race from my first plane to catch my connecting flight, which had already closed the boarding door (and which they reopened for me, to my amazement, and to the disgust of the passengers already on the plane).
I didn't have breakfast, and there was no food on my first flight. I was hopeful that I could buy something on my second one. And I found out just what I could buy on that second flight: pre-bundled vending- machine packets of chips and salami and fake cheese, arranged in themes that someone deemed clever. I would have cried with happiness if they'd brought me one of those old-fashioned hot meals that you used to get on airplanes, with the soft vegetables and the meat with gravy and potatoes.
My first flight had a fly infestation in the back of the plane, for which the airline attendants apologized profusely and told us that we should call United's customer service and file a complaint, implying that there was nothing they could do unless we went up the chain of command. Meanwhile, I was seated next to a woman who was returning from a vacation trip to Vietnam. I asked her how she enjoyed it.
WOMAN: Vietnam was a beautiful country, but the information is so controlled....the people are very biased.
ME: How so?
WOMAN: Well, they have a really negative attitude about the Vietnam war.
ME: [...pause...] Well, that's understandable. I'm sure that when there's a long war fought in your own country and you see lots of destruction, it's hard to feel good about it.
WOMAN: Well, they have American tourism there. They really shouldn't have such an attitude.
ME: Hmmmmm.
WOMAN: But there are some real-estate bargains there, I'm telling you. It's a good time to invest, but prices are already going up.
ME: Prices are going up everywhere.
Luckily, she took this opportunity to put on her headphones and tune me out, so I did the same.
Flight number 2 was a bit better. The passenger next to me was a Canadian businessman who was also on his way to a conference -- though not the same one. We mixed and matched the "food" packets of our vending-machine bundles, and he explained to me how the value of the Canadian dollar -- higher now than the US dollar -- is hurting Canadian business.
On arrival at the airport in Orlando, I was picked up by an enormous cruise bus that drove me to the hotel. Apparently there are quite a few Disney-owned hotels here, and quite possibly not much else. During the drive, they turned on two television screens and a loud sound system and played a Disney cartoon, followed by VERY LOUD advertising for different Disney vacations. One was the EPCOT center, where apparently you can ride a gondola and look down "...on California like you've never seen it before!" I think I'll pass!
I finally got to my hotel, which is in a massive complex that's totally Disney-controlled. There's a lagoon (fake?), and fake rocks, and sand that was probably trucked in from elsewhere with palm trees and hammocks. And there's a large eating establishment -- apparently just one -- which will control what I eat and when I eat for the next three days. There's also an outdoor cabana/bar and I already saw a guy that looks like Jimmy Buffett sitting there. There doesn't seem to be a town anywhere nearby, and even if I was able to walk out of this place, the next-nearest thing is another Disney-owned complex. So, here I am! Thanks to Jan and John, who loaned me a portable Logitech stereo for my iPod, I'm at least able to listen to my own music instead of the Disney music channel. Now if I could just figure out how to turn the air-conditioning down...
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