the recession that dare not speak its name

I've been reading stories every day about how we're "almost" in a recession and how the US Congress might issue checks of anywhere from $300 to $600 to eligible Americans in hopes that somehow this will resolve the problem.

I believe we're all supposed to go out and buy something new when the checks arrive. And America will be saved.

But...$300 will not buy much in 2008. I'm guessing that many people will put the money in their checking account as a buffer against bounced checks. It's simply not enough to do much else. Pity.

Meanwhile, the phone robots are very busy. They won't be getting rebate checks and they can't go shopping to save America from its destiny. But they're hard at work, and their job is to keep us from talking to other people.

A call to my credit-card company today began with a robot and ended with an attempt to sell me a more-expensive card, which I declined. Following that, a tech-support call to my ISP never connected me to a human -- they apparently had too much "call volume." Before disconnecting me, the robot informed me to seek "live" online help. The online help was most likely a robot as well, and it attempted to sell me a virus-protection program that had nothing to do with my problem.

And so ...we're in a recession. I'll keep talking to robots, and they'll continue working tirelessly so that real people don't have to. My email box will fill up with offers of mostly useless things to buy. My rebate check will arrive and fade away. The Pottery Barn down the street will probably stay in business, even though no one ever goes inside it. The war against....somebody...will continue sucking down precious funds. And in the next few months, millions of dollars will be spent on the battle for the next president. Want to put more real money into our economy? Give the candidates equal and free air time rather than wasting money on raising and spending campaign funds.